dazed and infused :)

so! its the day after my second Remicade infusion... my 2 week dose... i wanted to write a bit about how my first one went, and now my second, and how it feels throughout :)

getting set up for my first Remicade infusion,
"0 week"

the first time i went in i was super nervous... i had a fair idea of what to expect: probably no complications, but possibly an allergic reaction or a super slow infusion taking anywhere from 2 to 8 hours...

but it went better than i expected! my IV was placed in my right forearm and i was still able to move my hand and arm freely :) so freely i was messaging my mom and sister while working on some knitting i had brought along :) lol! always multi-tasking :)

the nurse gave me my pre-medication of benadryl and tylenol to make the infusion a bit easier for my body to handle... i didn't get sleepy from the benadryl like some people do, i just kept on texting and crafting away :)

when all the medication had run through the IV and i was all done, they unhooked me and sent me on my merry way :) i went home, snuggled with my boys and crashed for the night :)

run over by a rickshaw...
 at least it was yarn-bombed!

but the days to follow were a little unsettling as i have had SO many symptoms that i have tried to "assign" to either the disease, or digesting an unwelcome food, or some other situation...

i felt a burning sensation in my gut, i felt very uggy from head to toe, and just overall "off" from how i had been feeling... my emotions got a little wacky and by the 4th and 5th day afterwards i totally felt like i had been run over by a rickshaw!

not quite hit by a bus but way more than a ten-speed :)

and after those days, probably around day 7, i started feeling MUCH better! more energy, more balanced emotions, more like my NEW self :)

and just yesterday i went in for my second infusion, my "2 week" dose :) it went well, just like the first time... done in about 2 hours :) but this time the benadryl hit me a bit more and i was sleepy for the last half hour or so... or possibly because i had eaten a gorgeous roasted tomato soup and turkey sandwich from Corner Bakery (followed by some sticky baklava) not long before :) again, i went home, snuggled with the boys, and crashed for the night...

today i woke up tired, uggy, and mentally prepared for the afterwards... i stood myself right in the middle of the "street," ready for my rickshaw moment :) xoxo

adding color...

well, no, i am no stranger to color... in my clothes, on my hair, and now through my hands dyeing up all kinds of fibery fluffiness :)

but since i've not been doing much of any coloring lately i decided to spruce up my all too silvery roots with some demi-permanent hair color! i already had it professionally dyed this gorgeous violet color, so i would look cute for my "double decker" colonoscopy/endoscopy... cuz a girl needs a little help when the only part of her body that's not bum nekked to the world is her hair! :)

anyhoo, violet it is... it was... its fading to a superb magenta-ish type hue because we stripped several chunks of my hair down to that wonderful lightened orange so the violet would really pop...

i'm not much for shock value anymore, but i do LOVE when the little girls in the dude's first grade class get all wide-eyed and say, "Mrs. McGrath!! your hair is... PURPLE!" and i look at them in disbelief and say, " No!! It's blonde!" and then we giggle and get girly and then there's hugs and i find myself sitting in the wee chairs and adding glitter to something... :)

so yes! plum it is, silver no more :) and now on to tackling the dishes that quietly observed our homemade pizza party shenanigans last night...

toasted garlic, sauteed onions, mushroom and green peppers with manchego sheep cheese on trader joe's herb pizza dough crust... this one was OMIGOSH sooooooooo yummeh!!! next time i'll add MORE toasted garlic and leave off the green peppers :) 

mozzarella & cheddar blend cheese on trader joe's original pizza dough crust... got four thumbs up from the dude! :) xoxo :) sara

always a work in progress...

when you have a chronic illness like Crohn's, one with no scientific cure, you try and try to find your own answers... to find a reason and cause for the symptoms and disease... to find medical, spiritual, and professional wisdom to help make each day better than the last... you spin and spin your mind and body into a frenzy of action and pursuit...

but sometimes, the answer is just to do NOTHING... :)

to sit down and rest... put your body and mind at ease... let go of the questions and concerns and worries and give yourself a chance to truly heal from the inside out... :)

try to target areas of your life that are causing stress on your body and allow room for change in those areas... both good challenging stress and harmful worrisome stress affect me negatively, so i have had to put several aspects of my life on hold: my fiber arts business, volunteering in my son's classroom, even fun activities that were enjoyable but kept me busy busy busy!!

for the first three months after my latest flare with fistulas, i literally had to force myself to rest on the couch, take naps and go to bed early, and relax! but it was the BEST thing i could have done in those early times, giving my body a chance to focus, find rest, and begin to heal...

slowly i have gained enough physical and emotional strength to begin adding some enjoyable work back into my days... i just can't keep my hands still for too long! though i'm not quite ready to get my business back up and running, nor can i commit to any type of schedule... but projects where i can do a little bit at a time and see progress and loveliness as i work are a great start :)

i found the inspiration for this crochet fusion blanket here and grabbed some lovely reclaimed vintage sheets from this etsy shop :) i adore how it is working up and its the perfect stop and go project! :)

5" x 5" squares stitched, turned, and topstitched

blanket stitch with cotton yarn around all edges

single crochet then double crochet edging, 

with extra stitches for flat corners

i found the inspiration for this crochet fusion blanket here and followed her method :) as i crocheted the single crochet round, i made 1 single crochet in each blanket stitch and made 3 single crochets in each corner. for the double crochet round, i made 2 double crochets in each of the corner stitches, so 6 double crochets at each corner :)

i have a couple more projects in mind that i'll share with you in a bit :) and maybe some of my failed attempts, too! :) rest easy :) xoxo sara

first things first...

well hello! my name is Sara and i have been recently diagnosed with Crohn's disease... well re-diagnosed i should say... you see, i had been living with Ulcerative Colitis for the past eight+ years, and my body must've decided that dealing with all the fun features of a flareup wasn't drama enough, and thought blowing holes directly from my intestines out through my skin would be just the kind of fun i needed! LOL :)

well actually, it was EXACTLY what i needed! without those holes (or fistulas) i wouldn't have known just how severe my IBD truly was... 

friends encouraged me to go down to UCLA for a second opinion and to be close to cutting edge research and proper medical help... but it has been quite a journey to get to this point and that's what this blog is all about: to talk about where i've been, where i am, and where i'm headed... if you or someone you know is on a similar journey, my hope is that you find a connection, a sympathetic heart and quite often, some comic relief!! :) xoxo sara